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Sloww Sunday Newsletter 140 (Apr 16, 2023) — Getting Lost, Five Whys, The Doer, & More
Sloww Sunday shares creations from Sloww along with curations of fascinating finds to 10,000+ students of life. If you enjoy this issue, please help grow Sloww by forwarding the email version of this newsletter to other lifelong learners.
📚 Lifelong Learning
Interdisciplinary Studies + Research
After a couple weeks of being sick and not being able to read, think deeply, or do any meaningful work whatsoever, I’ve used the unexpected “break” to reevaluate how I want to move forward. I’ve decided Interdisciplinary Research will be the final book I finish reading to inform the Synthesizer course. Earlier this year I also read Introduction to Interdisciplinary Studies (Book Summary). A book summary of Interdisciplinary Research and Premium synthesis of both books together are coming soon.
🌎 Lighter Living
Getting lost to find yourself
For those feeling lost in life, I was there for a looong time. I was essentially lost in life in many ways from ages 18-33. It’s now obvious to me that my college years (ages 18-22) were some of the most lost years of my life.
- Sports: I picked my college in the first place because they offered me a scholarship to run cross country and track—which I quit by my sophomore year because I no longer enjoyed running (and therefore forfeited the scholarship—instead opting to do dishes at the dining hall with my friends which was actually more fun). It was the first time in my life no longer participating in organized, team sports.
- School: So, there I was at a school I picked for a reason that no longer applied. I didn’t really pick the school for the school (it was secondary), and I stumbled into a business/marketing major for no good reason. I didn’t study hard because my college classes were easier than my high school classes. It was the first time in my life not getting straight As.
- Getting Lost: School and sports had always been big priorities in my life up to that point, and now neither were for the first time ever. So, what did I do? I unconsciously filled the void by partying. Then four years were over, and I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I didn’t take any internships, and wasn’t in a rush to get a “real job” after graduating (age 22).
- Work: Five months after graduating, I landed my first marketing job. That job snowballed into others and eventually a full-blown marketing career. I woke up 8 years later with an existential crisis (age 30), and quit my career 2.5 years later (age 33). The rest is history, but the entire journey makes much more sense with all this background context.
If you are feeling lost, keep going. Eventually you’ll be able to reflect on where you’ve been, connect the dots, and use it all to inform where you want to go.
Explore more: How do I design a lighter life? (Sloww Stage 1)
🧭 Deeper Purpose
Who were you as a child (when you observe your younger self)?
I’ve spent quite a bit of time digging into my past over the last couple years. But, this has primarily been a process of reflection via memories. I’ve mentioned that I seem to have the norm of “infantile/childhood amnesia” (Wikipedia) and don’t remember my first memories. So, I started considering another approach: instead of reflection, what about observation?
While sick the last two weeks, I asked my dad to send me a bunch of our family home videos. It’s been a surreal experience being almost 40 and watching myself at 4 years old. This most recent watch through them has been extra eye-opening and made me realize even more about myself. If you have family home videos, request them from your parents and watch them if it’s been decades.
PS: Thanks dad for: 1) taking home videos of us ~40 years ago, 2) converting them to digital at some point since then, and 3) taking the time to send them to me recently!
Explore more: How do I find higher purpose (Sloww Stage 2)?
Get the eBook: Ikigai 2.0: A Step-by-Step Guidebook to Finding Life Purpose & Making Money Meaningfully (+ Bonus Workbook)
🧠 Mental Wealth
Dissect Yourself with the 5 Whys
I’m in the process of asking the “5 whys” to absolutely every single thing I can think of about myself.
Here’s a personal example:
- I got good grades, excelled at sports, and moved up in my career. Why?
- Because I was a high achiever with an insane work ethic. Why?
- Because my self-worth was directly tied to my work in everything I did (school, sports, jobs). Why?
- Because I was driven by a fear of disappointing my parents, others, and myself—a fear of being worthless/useless. Why?
- I don’t know. Eventually, asking “Why?” will lead you to an unanswerable mystery.
Try it: The 5 Whys
Explore more: How do I master the mind (Sloww Stage 3)?
Get Mini Mind: 365 Daily Emails of Bite-Size Brain Food
☯️ Timeless Wisdom
Who is the doer?
Annamalai Swami:
- “Walk, eat, drink, sleep, meditate, but never think that you are the one who is doing these things. The thought that you are doing something is the thought that is poisoning your life. Because once you think that you are doing something, you will start to think that you need to be doing something else to put yourself in a better situation. You don’t have to do anything to experience the nectar of the Self. All you need to do is drop the idea that you are doing anything at all.” — Annamalai Swami
Ramana Maharshi:
- “The present difficulty is that man thinks he is the doer. But it is a mistake. It is the higher power which does everything and man is only a tool. If he accepts that position he is free from troubles, otherwise he courts them. Take, for instance, the sculpted figure at the base of a gopuram (temple tower), which is made to appear as if it is bearing the burden of the tower on its shoulder. Its posture and look are a picture of great strain which gives the impression that it is bearing the weight of the tower. But think. The tower is built on the earth and it rests on its foundations. The figure is a part of the tower, but it is made to look as if it is bearing the weight of the tower. Is it not funny? So also is the man who takes on himself the sense of doing.” — Ramana Maharshi
Explore more: How do I embody wisdom (Sloww Stage 4)?
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Go with the Sloww,
Kyle Kowalski
Synthesizer & Solopreneur
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